like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
Randomize
