Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancé called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
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