onenightstand. Woke up and saw my nuva ring on the floor. apparently he thought it was a glow stick. pick me up please?
he didnt ask why there was a glowstick shoved up your vag?
I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
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