I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
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