Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
My dad found me naked curled up under a towel on the couch with a fucking tub of butter and a spoon. Ambien Mondays are dead
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
Randomize
