Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
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