i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
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