does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
25 People Reveal The Creepiest Kids They Went to School With
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
Getting drunk before noon on a Tuesday. When did this become my life? Did you know that a six-pack of Smirnoff is 2 liters?
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
17 Subtle Body Language Signs That Reveal A Lot About Someone
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.