Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

(717): View more from Pennsylvania

i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent

Fav 18 945 5192
share tweet
(914): View more from New York

i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.

Fav 12 973 4005
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(860): View more from Connecticut

I can't believe he cheated

(1-860): View more from Connecticut

Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how

Fav 37 1271 3327
share tweet
(718): View more from New York

he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty

(917): View more from New York City

smooth operator

Fav 25 8171 1705
share tweet
These 19 Men’s Fashion Mistakes are Unforgivable, According to Women
Read it at the TFLN blog
(253): View more from Washington

Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...

Fav 6 2999 1037
share tweet
(801): View more from Utah

Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.

Fav 7 822 1551
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(419): View more from Ohio

Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?

(1-419): View more from Ohio

Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.

Fav 20 3682 924
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(918): View more from Oklahoma

You're not talking any sense into me. You're cheering me on to disaster.

(405): View more from Oklahoma

... is that not half the reason I'm your best friend in the first place?

Fav 0 455 144
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(716): View more from New York

Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.

Fav 1 150 54
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT