I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
It was my birthday today and i decided that i am not checking my notifications on facebook so ill feel popular
Wrong number and your a loser
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
did you just send me my own nude
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it