i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
we tried to pick out bridesmaid dresses with pockets so we could sneak flasks in with us. what the fuck is the point of a dry wedding?
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
Randomize
