96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
Randomize
