this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
Randomize
