i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
Life lesson: when driving and throwing up, choose a paper bag over plastic. Fuck my life.
i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
Ordered weed last night from the delivery service, and who showed up...my old real estate broker. He said, "this is less stressful." Duh.
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
Dad's drunk, trying to hook me up with a 43yo, and keeps saying one and done. Mom is on the verge of tears and disowning us. You missed a good birthday dinner.
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
Randomize
