Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
Randomize
