If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was.
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
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