If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
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