I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
Randomize
