Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
Randomize
