Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
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