NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
A milkman. But instead of milk I'm delivering marijuana. And instead of a milk truck it's an armored car.
You're a weed delivery man, in an armored car?
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
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