So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
As I type I'm climbing my cousins swingset so I can take a nap inside the slide. Fuck this hangover. I always win.
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
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