There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
Randomize
