And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
Randomize
