who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
Drake has all the answers
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
Randomize
