I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
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