Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
I made her dinner: Beefaroni with grated parmesan cheese on top. Luckily she showed up drunk and gave me head, "For spending so much time preparing."
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
Randomize
