i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
I dropped my keys into the toaster and felt it push down as I pulled them out. Couldn't stop thinking it was a bad idea the whole time.
I still don't know how you've lived this long.
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
Randomize
