It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
Randomize
