he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
Please don't be alarmed by the blood on my arms and phone in the morning. It's not mine.
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
Randomize
