i don't like sucking hair
So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
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