Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
Randomize
