Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
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