yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
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