Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
Randomize
