come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
He told me I look like a librarian today. I hope that means he has a librarian fetish or something
Disregard. He says he said I look "agrarian" today and just proceeded to compare me to Mumford and Sons. Fuck it, I'm going home and drinking
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
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