It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
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I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
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Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
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