he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
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I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
Just walked outside my house; realized I wasn't wearing any pants after about 3 minutes or so.
Drunk, high, hungover?
...I wish I had an excuse.
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
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