I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
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