Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
Can you come pick me up and take me to breakfast then the police station?
Where's your car?
The girl I brought home apparently stole it
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
Randomize
