I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
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