I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
he said he wanted to butter my pancake. i thought it was sexual, but he went downstairs and made pancakes. i need to stop dating fat guys.
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
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