I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
Randomize