well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
I just found out that my father was a Human condom for halloween when I was 4. And to think I used to wonder where my sense of humor came from.
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
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