I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
The homeless woman that called me a "dirty looking cunt" the other day, was standing outside Starbucks today with a sign that said "Jesus loves you."
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
Randomize
