I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
My mom asked me to donate my child hood stuffed animals to the poor then I realized I was hiding liquor behind them. I told her I was too attached to them. She understood. Wrong in so many ways.
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!
Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am