Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (813): View more from Florida

  Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.

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  (813): Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick. http://tfl.nu/9lls
  Replies (8) Good night (611) Bad night (1618)
• Favorite

  (954): View more from Florida

  everyone is single if you try hard enough

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  (954): everyone is single if you try hard enough http://tfl.nu/81g9
  Replies (42) Good night (5388) Bad night (900)
• Favorite

  (401): View more from Rhode Island

  im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college

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  (401): im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college http://tfl.nu/hik3
  Replies (48) Good night (2232) Bad night (4093)
• Favorite

  (315): View more from New York

  making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke

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  (315): making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke http://tfl.nu/o15u
  Replies (9) Good night (4850) Bad night (1045)
• Favorite

  (540): View more from Virginia

  Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations

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  (540): Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations http://tfl.nu/sqlo
  Replies (17) Good night (2380) Bad night (4324)
• Favorite

  (856): View more from New Jersey

  They are making fun of natty and blackberries.

  (646): View more from New York

  Tell them they are ugly.

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  (856): They are making fun of natty and blackberries. (646): Tell them they are ugly. http://tfl.nu/s2y1
  Replies (8) Good night (3982) Bad night (1167)
• Favorite

  (410): View more from Maryland

  I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.

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  (410): I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator. http://tfl.nu/m1m0
  Replies (10) Good night (1583) Bad night (3099)
• Favorite

  (702): View more from Nevada

  I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.

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  (702): I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared. http://tfl.nu/11u7
  Replies (4) Good night (3077) Bad night (1503)
• Favorite

  (330): View more from Ohio

  98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk

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  (330): 98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk http://tfl.nu/zq8d
  Replies (3) Good night (1655) Bad night (771)
• Favorite

  (314): View more from Missouri

  If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.

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  (314): If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life. http://tfl.nu/s141
  Replies (3) Good night (835) Bad night (423)
• Favorite

  (870): View more from Arkansas

  Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.

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  (870): Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants. http://tfl.nu/u5r1
  Replies (1) Good night (596) Bad night (343)
• Favorite

  (416): View more from Toronto

  He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.

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  (416): He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco. http://tfl.nu/xwo8
  Replies (4) Good night (661) Bad night (383)
• Favorite

  (386): View more from Florida

  Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.

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  (386): Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost. http://tfl.nu/901r
  Replies (2) Good night (590) Bad night (282)
• Favorite

  (402): View more from Nebraska

  I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam

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  (402): I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam http://tfl.nu/zq91
  Replies (3) Good night (268) Bad night (663)
• Favorite

  (310): View more from California

  He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing

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  (310): He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing http://tfl.nu/pfhu
  Replies (0) Good night (275) Bad night (408)

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