I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
23 People Noticed Deal Breakers in Their Partner A Little Too Late
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
23 Millennials Confess The Things They Wish They Weren’t Attracted To
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
Update: drank half a bottle of Bourbon and texted three ex's. Waiting for the roommates to go to sleep so I can raid the fridge.