Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
then my best friend's brother, boyfriend, and future bro in law showed up at the bar. they asked who i was there with. didn't know if "a 40 year old man" or "my 5th grade teacher" was better answer.
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
Some dudes just stopped and stared at me peeing in the street for like 5mins, and I yelled HEY. HEY. WANT ME TO SHIT IN YOUR MOUTH? I'LL SHIT ON YOUR CHEST FOR FIVE DOLLARS, PAPI
this is why i love drunk you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
The problem with adderall is that no matter what I'm doing, I feel like it was the most productive thing I've EVER done.
Did you alphabetize our spice cupboard again?
...You'll thank me later.
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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