I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
I don't really feel bad about it, but I legit just squirted in the back of an Uber and it makes me think how many times has this happened before?!?!
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
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