Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
TSA doesn’t allow handcuffs in carryon bags. Super fun they confiscated them in front of my boss and coworker.
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
Randomize
