this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
Randomize
