Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
she was so hammered she started drinking dishwasher detergent
I dont know whats funnier - that, or that we learned that poison control is closed at 2 AM
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
I'm actually glad the whole thing's over now. It's exhausting to fake a pregnancy.
Imagine not having to fake it.
Yeah, I should never have kids, probably.
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
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