She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus
How are you texting me from 1998?
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
Randomize
