Hey dude. Went to the hospital. Call me when you get up
batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
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All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
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