you're like a bully in the Christmas story
Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
I am drunk. Riding an elevator. You can smell the beer. Doctor on with me just smiling at me... He agrees, fuck cancer.
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
I'm both gender and math confused
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
Randomize
