I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
Randomize
