i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
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