so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
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