I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
Listen I'm tryna celebrate your divorce. Sometimes that calls for drinking on the toilet.
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