so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
So some girl kept staring at me and giving me these weird looks. That's when I realized she could probably hear the Mulan soundtrack playing on my iPod...
So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
Randomize
