I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
Randomize
