I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
Randomize
