that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
it's like iHOP with fire
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
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There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
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Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
The adults are the big ones right?
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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