well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
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