Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
What part of "waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon" sounds like a good night to you?
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
You told me that you couldn't come over because you felt like you were gonna die and that houses eat you when you die, and my house couldn't eat you because your house would be jealous. That's when I knew to take the bowl away from you.
Randomize
