road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
Randomize
