operation harelip BJ is a go
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
I refuse to go to this wedding alone, or sober. Practice drunk-walking in heels and a Bridesmaid dress begins tonight.
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
I swear to God if you start calling your dick “my pegasus” we’re not friends anymore
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
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