Are you dead
Yes
Oh man
Someone fed me too many chicken nuggets and sexed me too hard
Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
Dental hygienist just pulled two flakes of glitter out. And asked me how i've been doing with the divorce.
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
Randomize
