You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
Randomize
